There’s a reason we don’t talk about “climbing in love.”
Falling is more fun – letting go, relaxing, being in the moment. People who skydive call it “the most liberating thing you can do.” For 12 seconds, you’re not falling. You’re floating on a cushion of air.
As long as you’ve got a parachute.
Without a parachute, those same 12 seconds will be pretty stressful. You’re not safe. And if you don’t feel safe, you don’t feel free. And freedom is the fun part.
Any idiot can jump out of a plane. But for a good time, bring a parachute.
Do personal. Delegate practical.
Your wedding works the same way. You’re at the beginning of a planning process that will last closer to 12 months than 12 seconds. Those 12 months can be just packed with stress. Perhaps you’ve heard a wedding is supposed to be like that. It’s not.
This should be fun. And easy. Like freefalling – when you know you’ve got a parachute.
My company’s philosophy is this: We sweat the practical stuff so you can focus on the personal stuff.
And we need you to do that! We need you imagining the ideal first-dance pick, or planning who will give the perfect toast, or tipping us off about that one song from your crazy Aunt Carol’s college days that’s going to start a dance-floor chain-reaction in your family.
You should serve that scotch your grandpa bought when you were born and set aside for just this day. You should make that all-selfie photo slideshow that will leave your friends in stitches. You should dream up flash-mobs, scheme up grand romantic gestures and map out a plan to name all your reception tables after kingdoms from Lord of the Rings.
Those are the things that make your wedding great. Those are the things you will remember. And they’re things that only you can think of.
Which you won’t do if you’re sweating practical decisions or fretting about emergencies.
Don't hire questions. Hire answers.
Your wedding won’t be fun unless you’re sure your vendors have your back.
Take wedding DJs, for example. There are two ways we can screw this up for you: We can add work instead of taking work away. Or we can add risk instead of taking risk away.
When your DJ gives you a long list of lights and sound equipment and says “circle the stuff you need,” that’s adding work. When your DJ asks how many stairs are on your hotel’s loading dock, or expects you to coordinate with your ballroom about insurance, or sends you a 1500-word email with all his “packages,” even the ones that wouldn’t work for you – all that is adding work.
And if there’s a chance your DJ could get sick or have a family emergency and have to miss your wedding… If there’s no one behind your DJ who will take care of you even if your DJ absolutely can’t… Then that is adding risk.
The more work and the more risk you get, the more you have to focus on the practical and not the personal. You’re not safe. So you’re not having fun.
You’re only packing parachutes.
Fun means never having to watch your back.
At Backthird, we’ve come up with a way to take the practical work off your plate: You get an Account Manager. Your DJ executes those personal ideas, but your Account Manager answers the practical questions. Ideally, before you ever have to ask them.
So you don’t count stairs or microphones; Your AM finds out what you need ahead of time and only shows you options that will work. And you don’t worry what would happen if your DJ absolutely couldn’t make the wedding; Your AM worries for you. (She knows which backup DJ is on call.)
This system works for us – and for our wedding couples. Other vendors do it differently, but you’ll find wedding pros of every stripe who focus on reducing work and risk for you instead of adding to it.
You will also find a lot who do the opposite. But it’s not hard to tell the difference.
Just ask: Is this vendor making our lives easier? Or harder?
You want easier. That’s what I mean when I tell couples “don’t buy the leap, buy the parachute.” Not because the leap is not the fun part – but because it is. It’s your fun part. It’s your job to take risks and have ideas and be a little crazy.
It’s your vendors’ job to make the rest as easy as we can, and to make sure it all works out no matter what.
So be creative. Be in love. Don’t sweat the practical; enjoy the personal.
Go get a parachute. And then – go take the plunge.